We had of pleasure of being invited to one of my student’s birthday party (an offer we couldn’t refuse) and we went along with some of the other teachers. The entire school was invited but that’s neither here nor there, thank you. The child’s name is Bright, and he is the six-year-old heir of the 3rd largest rice exporter in Thailand. Royal Rich’s Rice Co. or something along those lines... Needless to say, this kid has his own house right next door to his folks’ mansion and a personal servant that he calls “The Boy,” who is more of a slave than a nanny. Naturally, The Boy was not allowed to come out of Bright’s house to join the party and his dinner was literally passed to him through a window of the house.
When Bright told Miss T, one of the teachers at Lertlah, that he wanted to bring his drum set downstairs for the party, but that they were too heavy for him to carry, he consoled her and said, “It’s ok. I’ll get the Boy to do it.”
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| Part of the spread |
The soiree was hosted atop of a large roof that was covered
in fake grass and lit up very nicely by string lights and candles. Obviously,
dinner was a large buffet of hand-rolled sushi, fresh grilled crabs, and prawns
the size of small cats (among other things). Red wine did not stop circling
around our table, and if I so much as took a sip one of the lovely
lady-servants would be right behind me to top it off. Naturally, when she
brought around an ice bucket full of Heinekens I couldn’t refuse her
generosity.
At the opposite end of the roof was a small stage on which a
lilac-haired magician manifested himself upon while dinner was being served. As
we broke through prawn shells in high style, our budding magician pulled birds
out of unseen orifices and turned them into roses much to our delight. (There’s
a slight chance that I enjoyed the magic show way more than the kids). However,
while the magician was mildly stunning, the live band that opened up for him
left something to be desired. Mouths watering, we had to sit through three
guitarists and a nervous drummer fumbling over an acoustic version of Gangnam Style while we made eyes at the dinner
spread—if I have to explain what Gangnam
Style is then consider yourself lucky.
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| Members only, please. |
After dinner was finished and our third round of seafood
carcasses were carted off and buried, we rolled out of our seats and quietly took
our leave making sure to thank Royal Rich for his hospitality. The night was
getting on and we had to quickly make our way down to the river for BANGKOK
BOAT PARTY 5. Sadly, no, it wasn’t a B-rate slasher film, although I’m
sure connections could be made… And it wasn’t nearly as classy as Bright’s
birthday party but the tickets were good for two free drinks, so what the hell.
Our parting gift from the host was 2 lbs. of the family’s
rice and some random blinking trinkets. Glowing wands and strobe-light rings,
that sort of thing. They were actually quite appropriate after-dinner wear for where
we were headed.
The name of the large river that cuts through Bangkok is Chao Phraya, which translates to “The
River of Kings,” and it runs from the middle of country all the way down to the
gulf. Every day, thousands of people are shuffled up and down this royal
waterway on a myriad of different water taxis, long-tail boats, and ferries.
The particular vessel that we were waiting for was a streamlined, two-story,
200-foot long party cruiser completely decked out with neon lights and a
stadium’s worth of sound equipment.
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| Riverside ferris wheel ghosts |
After splitting a mickey (the Canadian term for a half-pint
of whiskey) with our friends by the riverside, our glowing double-decker dance
club finally docked. It was fully stocked with two DJs, an absurd amount of
booze, and a smattering of drunken, horny foreigners. Dizzle the DJ was
actually the boyfriend of our friend from Philly that got me the job at
Lertlah.
That night we were floating down a mighty river of forgotten kings while gently caressing a riverside view of the Bangkok skyline to the deafening tune of obnoxious dance beats and wasted howls—which, I assure you, sounds much more romantic than it actually was. Drunken, hawk-faced European men with lecherous intentions in their beady eyes tossed cigarette butts and empty plastic cups into the browning river. Sadly, most people didn’t think twice about hurling their garbage off the side of this libidinous juggernaut, and it certainly wasn’t our scene. If BANGKOK BOAT PARTY 6 should ever be announced I doubt we’ll be going. (I’d watch the movie though). But hey, you know what they say: “Buy the ticket, take the ride.” We’ll try anything once.
I don’t mean to make it sound like a complete loss—we actually did have some fun—and it made for some good people watching to be sure. The foreign teachers that took us along on this horn-dog dance voyage are very nice, and we always have a great time together. The majority of the foreign staff at Lertlah are from Winnipeg, Canada (hey?) and aside from our Philly contact the only other people from the States come out of Oregon. The rest are an odd mix of cynical British folks and my laid-back Australian supervisor.
That night we were floating down a mighty river of forgotten kings while gently caressing a riverside view of the Bangkok skyline to the deafening tune of obnoxious dance beats and wasted howls—which, I assure you, sounds much more romantic than it actually was. Drunken, hawk-faced European men with lecherous intentions in their beady eyes tossed cigarette butts and empty plastic cups into the browning river. Sadly, most people didn’t think twice about hurling their garbage off the side of this libidinous juggernaut, and it certainly wasn’t our scene. If BANGKOK BOAT PARTY 6 should ever be announced I doubt we’ll be going. (I’d watch the movie though). But hey, you know what they say: “Buy the ticket, take the ride.” We’ll try anything once.
I don’t mean to make it sound like a complete loss—we actually did have some fun—and it made for some good people watching to be sure. The foreign teachers that took us along on this horn-dog dance voyage are very nice, and we always have a great time together. The majority of the foreign staff at Lertlah are from Winnipeg, Canada (hey?) and aside from our Philly contact the only other people from the States come out of Oregon. The rest are an odd mix of cynical British folks and my laid-back Australian supervisor.
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| Some fellow expat teachers sporting Bright's party favors |
We don’t really mix with my coworkers on any regular basis,
and Reaksmey and I are happy to explore and travel on our own terms. Some of my
coworkers truly are nice people
though, and we enjoy getting into some weekend trouble with them every now and then,
but for the most part we are content in each other’s company and don’t feel
pressured to fuss with the group mentality.
Our Thai is coming on slowly, but navigating the city had been easy enough. The language/culture barrier makes day-to-day life interesting, and we’ve had fun interacting with the locals. The trust that one has to put into a taxi driver who does not speak your language is impressive, and we find it very amusing when we are barreling down unknown streets, scraping within inches of death towards what we hope is the destination we asked for—but we always make it home don’t we?
Our Thai is coming on slowly, but navigating the city had been easy enough. The language/culture barrier makes day-to-day life interesting, and we’ve had fun interacting with the locals. The trust that one has to put into a taxi driver who does not speak your language is impressive, and we find it very amusing when we are barreling down unknown streets, scraping within inches of death towards what we hope is the destination we asked for—but we always make it home don’t we?
Especially when your conception of home is as capricious as
your mind is open.
capricious is as capricious, ooh shiny!
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