Phnom Penh, Cambodia — October 22, 2012

Tonight Reaksmey and I were very warmly received by her extended family of whom she has not seen in over 15 years. All of the tension we built up during our 11-hour journey from Bangkok, passed through the bowels of Poi Pet, and smeared across the country highways of Cambodia was immediately released as we hugged and laughed with her aunt, uncle, and cousins in the hot evening rain. We had long since bid adieu to Monkey Jim and his companion, and we were struggling to get the cabby to take us to where needed to be. We were stopped on the side of the road trying to buy time while we squinted into the dark through the beaded lines of light that the rain was tracing on the windows. He was itching to kick us out of the car, and no sooner than he was opening the trunk did we see our family pulling up.

Family resemblance

They arrived in two cars and everyone poured out to greet their long lost Reaksmey and her new galoot. You could have walked a mile in those smiles, and everyone made sure to hug her twice to make sure it wasn’t a dream. Our souls bounced higher than the streetlights and our laughter alone could have powered them.

Reaksmey’s aunt and uncle took her in after her mother passed away and raised her as their own. As far as her cousins are concerned, she is their sister and they wouldn’t see her in any other light. Rana, one of Reaksmey’s cousins, and Dara, her aunt, happily piled us into their car and we followed the men of the family out to the new house. Everyone was very curious to know what she could remember of her old homeland, and during the week we were there we were given an entire tour of Phnom Penh.

Their new home is quite spacious and very elegantly furnished which came as pleasant surprise for Reaksmey. The last time she saw her family was in their old home—a one-bedroom apartment full to the brim with her four cousins, her aunt and uncle, and herself. They took us to visit the old house, and Reaksmey was awash with old memories. Currently, Vithyea (Reaksmey’s oldest cousin), his wife and newborn daugher, Jolie, live there, so it is still in the family.  

Reaksmey on the steps of her childhood home

Relaxin' with Siphal

Chimm Siphal, Reaksmey’s uncle and my new buddy, is an impeccable host and a great man. After a long career as a judge in the Phnom Penh Supreme Court he has just recently retired, and deserves every minute of it. Siphal is romantic who loves his wife and children dearly and he lights up like a spotlight whenever his grandkids come to visit. During our stay he taught me how to wear a sarong—a large piece of fabric you tie around your waist in preparation for any relaxing activity (underwear is optional)—and we would change into them everyday after lunch. He also loves to sing and I for one was certainly charmed by his love songs. At night, we would all stargaze on the roof and lounge in hammocks while he crooned about love in the moonlight and the poor souls who are tortured by it. Just to give you an idea of how romantic Siphal is: his beloved wife’s name is Dara, which means “star,” and when he built the new house he surprised her with a beautiful, star-shaped light fixture hung from the ceiling in the main room.  Oh what a man.

Aunt Dara didn’t stop feeding me the entire time I stayed in her home, and every dish she and her sister prepared was delicious. Thankfully for me, the family encouraged eating great food, napping in hammocks, and quiet time in the afternoon. 

Rinse and gratefully repeat.

Light lunch

In the morning, many hands were fast at work in the kitchen to prepare a big lunch and the dinner feast. After coming home from going out to breakfast in the morning, the first thing Aunt Dara wanted to know is if I was hungry. I’m not sure I stopped eating the entire week we were there, and every meal was different. (The family enjoyed trying to taste-test Reaksmey’s memory to see what she could remember of the native food.) Aromatic stews, fresh summer rolls, noodle dishes, fresh salads and greens, grilled seafood, chicken, and more—all of which were seasoned and spiced in their own way and to be washed down be the homeland brews ANGKOR or CAMBODIA. Once Satyar and Raksmey (Smey’s male cousins) found out that I could drink a few beers (just a few) they’d show up everyday with a new case of ANGKOR and a cooler full of ice. Me and the guys would hang out on the roof, or downstairs in the common room and talk or play cards. They showed me how to play a Cambodian card game, and I taught them how to play blackjack.

"My Country, My Beer."

The Cambodian beers were nice and light, and were a perfect match for the midday heat. “Chul moi!” is one of their cheers, and roughly means “cheers once,” or "as one," “Chul” also meaning “bull,” gives the connotation of bulls butting heads when you slam your can of ANGKOR into a friend’s. By the end of the night Vithyea, Satyar, Raksmey and I were all standing up every few minutes to “Chul moi!” to our new friendship.

<sidenote> In Thailand, the main brews are Leo, Chang, and Singha, all of which are served over ice. My brothers Matthew and Nathan would perish at the thought that I have now started drinking my beer over ice, but it is very common practice here in Thailand. As there is no body or taste to Thai beer anyways, and seeing as how every bottle is double-sized, I welcome the ice as it keeps our beer cold and refreshing. Every time you order a beer at a street-side restaurant in Thailand they’ll bring you a bucket of ice and a glass, and though I ignored them when I first got to Bangkok, I’ve now assimilated into their drinking culture. Thais also love whiskey, and often drink a homemade whiskey/moonshine-esque liquor called Maka Tiplong (which I'm sure I spelled wrong, and is something I’ll address in another post). There’s also a Thai spiced rum called Sang Som that is very nice when paired with soda water. But I digress… </sidenote>

Paying respects to the late king

As fate would have it the Cambodian king, Norodom Sihanouk, passed away right before Reaksmey and I got into Phnom Penh, and thousands of people from all over Cambodia were there to mourn his death and pay their respects. When Smey’s childhood friends Seila and Soporn took us out on the town one night, we walked through the mourning crowds as they were gathered outside the royal palace. Heavy smoke from hundreds of tribute candles and incense sticks hung in the humid night air, and the weight of the atmosphere gathered at the late king’s doorstep lay in somber juxtaposition to the bustling downtown street just around the corner.

On our last night in town, the family threw us a huge going away party. All of our family and friends showed up and we feasted, drank, and danced the night away. It was a blast, but it was also bittersweet. We had had such a lovely time in Cambodia that it was hard to leave. The family had accepted me with open, loving arms from the very first night that I met them, and they treated me like I was their own. They are some of the most genuine people that I’ve ever known, and I am very grateful to be a new addition to their family.

Here are some more photos from the trip. Click a thumbnail to enlarge it..